killthishistory (killthishistory) wrote,

Looking for my life. hah.

I am 20 yrs old.
Nowhere to go.
Not a single person to see.


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I adore these pictures you have been taking lately.
What you wrote now, is how I feel as well.
Just to update you, I broke up with Shane.
:: sigh :: boys...can't live with them. can't live without them.
I have just had some time on my hands lately, I guess.
How did the boy take it?
the break up that is.

boys are so confusing.

we'll put on bunny masks to kill boys,

and keep our sweet innocent faces on to find men.

we need men, not boys hawhwa.

love you gal.
He didn't take it too well.
but it had to happen.
boys are confusing.
we should hang out and make our bunny masks soon.
then we can go on our killing spree.
i have nowhere to go, i think, tonight, either.

nowhere to go but nap time! maybe you should take a nap. with candles in the walls and the fake lights off.

my mom says no candles in the walls. hawh.

perhaps I can have candles on the window sills?

Hope it works the same way.

How are those skills coming along?

hope you are having luck finding them

i'm still trying to find skills.

if you were looking out for a boy with skills, what skills do you think he should have? i'm not trying to suggest anything, but i need some ideas of skills to focus on.
well cooking goodies = a good start.
though you could just buy goodies.
But homemade ones are better.

besides that . . hmmmm . . what do you enjoy doing?

give me something to work with . . I'll feed off of it.

i like to look really closely at the ground sometimes, but usually i don't due to the social responses i receive from peers. this was the cause of much depression throughout middle school. really.

i like to look at the sky too, which has much less social rebuke. the clouds, whether white or grey or black; the sky, red, orange, blue, light blue, royal blue.

i don't think i can attribute either of these to skill-dom.
I too look closely at the ground from time to time. Taking in every possible detail.
The angle at which a blade of grass falls. The cracks in dry dirt. The trails left by slugs.
I glance at the sky too. But I'll admit the ground catches my attention a bit more.
I think it is because I like insects.


Have you tried your hand at something in the arts?

I see you have a picture of a bumble bee in your journal. perhaps you already have a skill there, in photography.

How about painting. The way you describe the sky above makes me picture you painting abstract skylines.
Though I can't really picture you persay, just what I see in the icon. lol.

I know I enjoy making my own black and white prints, then coloring them with various mediums.

Take some photos and color in th sky!

I bet they would come out beautiful.

and the girls would swoon.

I bet they would.

I'll keep thinking of ideas.



how are you boys doing over there in mass.?

hope all is well.

as well as it can be.